Election Official's Night Before Christmas

ELECTION OFFICIAL'S NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

By: J. Patrick Kelly

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a computer mouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that no recall petitions would be there;

The employees were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of recounts danced in their heads;

And ma in her kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down with a hot toddy and our big furry cat,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter!

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters, and threw out the trash.

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow

Gave the luster of a lobbyist all warm and aglow,

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,

But a slick politician with an entourage of reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in an instance he was up to some trick.

More rapid than eagles his courses they came,

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name;

“Now Press Corps! Now Publicists! Now Focus Groups all!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,

Down the chimney came the politician with a bound!

He was dressed all in fur and diamond and rings;

And his clothes were all polished and his teeth were so clean!

No bundle of toys were flung on his back,

It was easy to tell he was a political flack!

A wink of his eye and a twist of head,

Soon gave me to know I had a lot to dread.

He spoke many words and went straight to work,

Insuring that his message was full of all sorts of quirks.

He demanded his party lists and his precincts like loot,

But he let out a howl when the dog bit his boot!

He threw me his campaign finance forms with flourish and glee,

He knew he had all the money washed carefully.

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And with a spin of his head, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his limo, to his PR team gave a whistle,

And they all flew away like the down of a thistle.

And I heard him exclaim as through the Midnight he flew,

“Trust me dear Voters, I’m here to help you!”

Copyright 2010